During transitions in our lives, we can be so challenged with what it is each of us must face, allow and forgive. I’ve been slowing down and feeling more, so I can be authentic in the moment. I've been able to observe myself when I get emotional. It’s OK to get emotional, It's human nature to have emotions! Holding it in a safe space so others don’t get hurt by it is mastery. I’m not there, and I’m not sure that is my mission, but it’s certainly a part of it!
This leads me to sharing a recent read called, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a #uck,” by Mark Manson. What truly is our mission here and who decides that? You’ll be surprised at how many of us, including you, care about things that upon reflection, don’t really matter to us. As Mark asks, are we giving a #uck about the things that we’ve decided really matters to us? And questioning even why things matter to us? Are they really our choices? Or do our traditions hold us under others’ expectations?
This is really a question of what are the big rocks in your life? Have you ever stopped to write that down? What are the non-negotiables in your life? Must haves? And what are the things in your life that are fantastic to enjoy, but not as important? And then the next slightly less important/smaller rocks? These are your values.
The next question is how do you measure yourself? By your bank account? The number of friends you have? How many likes you get on your social media posts? What truly are our most important values and how to we measure ourselves? Could it be that we may judge ourselves too harshly, and when thought through and perspectives changed...we find that there is no logic in that value or measurement?
This is pivotal because we can measure ourselves by the wrong measurement and never feel the satisfaction of meeting our goals simply because we have the wrong perspective. Manson’s rule of thumb is to choose a metric that you have control over. If you put the metric in the hands of someone else or something outside of yourself, you may never measure up. And if you do measure up, like buying that car you’ve always wanted…did that car really bring you lasting fulfillment, or did the excitement eventually fizzle out?
We are humans having a Spiritual experience, and it’s important for us to live intentionally and so by the end of our lives, we have some fulfilling meaning for our lives – our legacy. Each of us defines what to give meaning – what to give a #uck about.
Manson said, EVERYBODY has problems. The choice is in what kind of problems do you want to have? Some of us may feel like we don’t have a choice over what problems we have, and in many ways, that is true. And yet, we still have the power of which perspective to take on our problems, or which attitude.
When we give ourselves the gift of having this power to choose our attitudes, we realize that, damn, it’s a real responsibility! We can turn any situation into a hell hole, or heaven on earth. You know what I’m talking about because we’ve all made those mistakes!
At the end of the day, the mess will still be there when we are ready to finally clean it up. That mess was there for us to clean up in this life, so we can gain the insight on how it feels to finally heal, gain the perspective of having seen it through and hopefully the wisdom of learning a hard-won lesson.
Maybe our lesson is being vulnerable and allowing others to give us help. Or perhaps it’s to finally stand up for ourselves because, in truth, no one else will in the ways that we need. Have you given yourself the space to learn what are your lessons that keep coming back to you to learn?
This past summer has been a time of reflection for me. With the help of Mark’s book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a #uck, I took a step back from the fast pace I had set for myself. I was able to ask important questions like does this represent my values? Am I using the correct metrics? I saw that I needed to make adjustments. There is no shame in this because if we aren’t asking these important questions and making adjustments then we could be headed into a train wreck!
Life isn’t a straight, easy road….for long. There are hills, detours and straight out roadblocks – and we wouldn’t have it any other way, or life would be predictable and boring! It turns out that Mark has some good advice for us. It’s healthy to stop the bus at times, and review what #ucks we’re giving!
In my review, I found that the eternal positive mindset wasn’t reality-based. The stringent rule of keeping a positive attitude – no matter what – just isn’t a good value to keep. Sometimes things happen in life that can take the wind right out of our sails. And we need to feel that. It may be sadness, it may be anger, it may be jealousy…these are the detours. And at times we get stopped in our tracks.
Oh no! I’m feeling anger! I’m putting out a frequency that is just attracting more opportunities to get angry about! Now I’m creating anxiety around my anger! What a cluster we can make for ourselves!
It’s OK to feel! That’s part of being human. Feel all the feels! The best gift we can give ourselves in these moments is to give ourselves space to feel it. Don’t push past it. Take a step back and review it. Where was I mistaken? Is this my pattern? Is this mine? I will tell you that if you got triggered, it’s yours.
Perhaps the only part in it that’s ours is that we may need to set clearer boundaries with others. Sometimes this is a signal of deeper work. We may have uncovered a past trauma. Giving ourselves this time of self-reflection helps us heal what needs healing; learn what needs to be learned and ultimately be more of who we really are, not some ideal magazine cover image.
This summer, I gave myself the space to grieve. My dad passed last fall, and I've had many moments remembering him, the sweet moments and the not so sweet, when he just wasn’t there for me, and I didn’t know I needed him. I let the feelings wash over me, I didn’t stuff them back in, or distract myself. I went into my room and cried until I was done. In this instance, he’s passed. I can’t call him and tell him my discoveries.
I can learn from his example; the love he gave and the mistakes he made. I forgave him a long time ago, so now that he’s gone, I’m choosing to remember the sweet memories, and when I remember something disappointing, I give it a moment to release it with love. I believe he is an angel with my guides now, so really he is right beside me, cheering me on.
This summer I also found that I needed to adjust my expectations. I thought that what I was doing for my career was absolutely going to work as an entrepreneur! I was going to do everything it took! Then I got real with myself, and the truth is that I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my family for my career. I wasn’t willing to do “what it took.”
Letting that idea go and reinventing myself, creating a new career from the ashes launched me into an exquisitely lethargic depression. And I gave myself space to feel, once again. I honestly believe that trying and failing is what makes successful people. If we don’t try – we’ll never know if what we think we want is a fit.
What motivated me to get back on my horse was because of the grandest undertaking, I believe I’m taking in my life. (until the next one…) In fact, I was deluding myself to think that I could launch a successful entrepreneurial career without addressing this blaring issue. It needed to come first.
I’ve shared that I am transmuting the victim mindset pattern in my life. And staying a victim is no longer an option for me. I’ve skirted the issue for many years, however, I learned that by not acting in a big way has its consequences too. And now those consequences are becoming more painful because others whom I love are getting hurt. I could allow myself to suffer, but now I was allowing others to suffer because of my choices.
My usual response has been to throw myself against the grindstone and *force* change. This past summer, I needed to be different. So, I gave myself compassion and understanding as to why it’s taking me a long time and how far I’ve come to reach this point where I stand now – it took courage. I reviewed my intentions, and honestly, knowing myself – I don’t give up easily – I needed to stay in the game (pain) until I realized that it wasn’t going to change unless I chose to be different.
I chose to be different and more authentic in so many ways, and now I face the big action choice. Standing on the precipice of big change can be daunting. One thing that I needed was support, and I can now say with confidence that I have the support I need.
It’s human nature to move away from pain. The great lessons come when the student is ready to take the next step. And not a moment sooner. We can authentically move into our next phase when and only when we are ready. The only question to ask is am I willing to take the first step towards that healing? Most often that first step is only one of many on a journey.
Where the journey leads….
is not our business. Our business is choosing what is our next step to take. Living in the present moment – real time – is our most authentic space to live.
Finding the next step is a dance between ourselves and what I call our guides. It can be Jesus, Buddha, angels…what fits for you? What this looks like is going within. The nudges, gut feelings or intuition help us decipher with precision what is the best next step. And truly, this can be liberating!
For all the controlling personalities out there – not having to know how every.single.thing will work out is NOT our responsibility! I am enjoying the carefree feeling of just taking that one step, and **allowing** the next step to unfold in front of me, knowing that in my authenticity – the Universe will respond with the best outcome for me. What happens next may not be hearts and unicorns. I may have more dragons to slay, and frankly, I don’t want to know about that! La La La La (plugging ears)
I have a bigger faith that the Universe or God, has setup this space for us to thrive. It’s our own choice to suffer through it, or to thrive. No matter what cards we’ve been given. I’m choosing to thrive, and in the process of choosing to thrive, I am healing the parts of me that have chosen suffering as a pattern. Now when I see it, I feel it. I give it my compassion and understanding – acceptance. And then I can forgive. I am at the point where the most difficult person to forgive is me. I’m the sucker who has made all the mistakes! And I keep having to pay the bill! And so it is. I will get there, and so will you.
If you want a good laugh and a kick in the a$$, I recommend the short read, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a #uck” by Mark Manson.
Has anyone else’s life just gotten little bit more crazy in the last couple of months, but in your own personally unique style of crazy?
I’m super happy to report that my crazy has involved a lot of changes within me and now with-out. Things are changing and moving in the direction that I have been focused upon.
I set a huge goal for myself that even one friend told me I shouldn’t be so fixated on how it will look. (I was specific about a few details) Be open to what may come. I understand my friend doesn’t want me to feel the pain of disappointment. I get it. And I have since reminded myself that it can look like I am seeing it now, or better. :-)
You see, I've GOT something bigger than me. I was not going to decide HOW I was going to attain my goal, or WHEN it would happen. One potential solution hadn't even been on my radar until a few hours after I set that intention.
I FINALLY GOT IT. When and how are immaterial to the feeling of HAVING IT. It’s done and exists, and I will be inspired to find it along my path. I am allowing the power of the Universe to propel me into exactly what I’m transmitting with my feelings.
Sounds like Disney-Fairy-Horse-Manure?
LOL, I know. And I don’t mind being the town fool. The stupid, happy person. Because I know that when I’M totally convinced that my life is fabulous and I’m counting my blessings everyday – especially the intangible ones… then it will happen. And it is! I am watching my new life unfold!
One of my goals is to create a six-figure income. I am on track to get there. I feel like I’m riding this huge energy wave (which I know you are too because we’re all in this together!) I just got a whole lot busier, and everything else in my life went into hyper-drive! It’s awesome because if I am honest with myself, of all the things filling my plate I would choose them again. There’s a couple here and there that I’m still transforming, but sometimes you just got to stop working, breathe deeply and enjoy the beauty of your work so far. It’s a journey, and one worth taking.
I’m sure you've heard: OH! Take 10 breaths and you’ll calm the anxiety or anger that is taking you to the edge. I’ve tried that and 10 breaths are too few! I need a lot more!! Last Sunday, I went to an event at my neighborhood Buddhist Monastery called “Day of Mindfulness.” I didn’t stay all day this time, but I participated in the meditation walk and the Dharma talk following the walk.
Needless to say, I did a lot of deep breathing from the top chakra, all the way down to my root chakra. Up and down and blowing breath through each one. Anytime a bell chimed, I closed my eyes deliciously, and took another deep breath. I think one can get high on deep breathing! You know what I’m talking about!
The next morning was the first morning that I awoke feeling great in a while. About a week prior, I had started waking with various degrees of anxiety. But anxiety does not serve the cause – aka my goal. So, I had been breathing through it a few times while still lying down, and during meditation.
However, after being with the monks and nuns and all the other visitors – and walking in their gardens…I decided that would be a regular event on my calendar.
It was SO grounding.
And if I can't make it, or they aren't holding an event, I promised myself I would walk in my own garden and breathe because it is so healing.
It’s also important to allow the pain or anger to emerge, or we just store it, and then we have a hard time healing and staying healthy. However, it is just as important to move through the negative feeling as quickly as possible to keep our transmission to the Universe clear and consistent. We are sending out a vibration whether it be positive or negative. And the Universe responds in kind. I’ve been feeling my anger and sadness deeply, and then feeling them leave my body. I visualize it dissolving. That doesn’t mean I’m done. I’ve just cleared another layer.
WHENEVER we are having a feeling that is undesirable, regardless of the cause and when we are ready and comfortable, BREATH DEEPLY. Several times. Don’t even count. Breath in and hold and then let go slowly, until you can feel the anxiety, fear or negativity let loose and leave your body. Breathing in calm, love, peace, all my needs are met, positive thoughts.
I may not feel exuberantly excited, but I am calm and at peace again, and that is definitely a feeling I want to keep having, so I say it works very well. Share in the comments if you agree!
I’ve been playing with the law of attraction and discovered some nuances that I thought were worth sharing.
I have been wrestling with this new paradigm shift from victim consciousness to one that is empowered. In the last couple of months, I’ve reached amazing heights of feeling wonderful for the new life I am creating for myself. I knew that I was attracting my new life with force because things and people started manifesting for me, and I loved the energy!
And there have been days where I’m still facing abuse and doing my best to see it as a result of my past thoughts. It’s what I don’t want and I “look away,” as I’ve prescribed. I’ve made efforts to repeat the same affirmations to myself or think the same thoughts that helped me feel wonderful and excited…and found my feelings hitting a wall. I either couldn’t shake the sadness or anger, or I just felt numb. It was like I didn’t believe in those words.
This has been a flag for me to stop and investigate what is going on within. In actuality, what was happening was that as I needed to allow all my feelings. I discovered I had some anger I needed to acknowledge and release. I also stored some sadness over the past that needed the same compassion. Many of us store our pain and sadness, even anger which is never a good thing for the body. We must find a way to release it, or it will be a source of attracting negative experiences into our lives.
These negative feelings were reflecting back to me in continued negative experiences. If I am going to change these experiences, I will need to release these feelings.
When we jump into our new goals, most often than not we have “stuff” to look at and let go to be able to transmute our old habits or ruts to be able to create something profoundly new such as overcoming a victim consciousness. Perhaps we need to face our fears! This is natural and normal in the process of transformation and creating change. We owe ourselves the space to be compassionate with the ups and downs while we are in process of creating a revolution in our lives.
What works best still is focusing on what I’m grateful for now because that is a subject of endless supply. I can be grateful for so much, large and small, and I will feel better…even if it’s a little bit in that moment. I steered my ship away from wrecking against the rocks of the same old shore, and that is a small victory!
We build our resources to be able to reach and maintain higher frequencies, and therefore create and maintain our dreams. Unfortunately, there is no speed pass. Until we reach mastery over creating and maintaining feel-good thoughts, we are the ones who must take one baby step at a time to make even the slightest positive change for ourselves. And that is no small task. It’s important to celebrate our successes, however small, giving ourselves credit and acknowledgement for our efforts.
We need to remember the lifetime(s) we’ve spent trudging over the same neuropathways of negative thinking that has brought us to a life that we don’t want. And so that change requires discipline and commitment to being and staying on a positive mindset, building new and positive neuropathways. It’s tough at the beginning because it is new and requires so much attention, but then it gets easier and easier. Remember how attentive we were when learning to drive a car? A manual shift? That took focus. Now we can drive to work or school and wonder how the hell we got there because we were in another world while doing it!!
Another resource that has really helped me is a series by Kevin Trudeau called “Your Wish is Your Command.” He goes into great detail to set the stage for being able to create change in our lives. For example, are you teachable? If you aren’t willing to learn something new, i.e., you’re a know-it-all, chances are that you will not be successful at creating anything new in your life. You aren’t even willing to see the same things in a new light. Sometimes that makes all the difference between unhappiness and happiness. This takes brutal honesty to look at ourselves with such scrupulousness.
I really started getting into the juicy parts of manifestation when he started talking about blocks. He explained the importance of spending time throughout our day thinking about what we want with great intensity. I liken this to focused feeling. Thoughts are great, but the subsequent feelings are the stronger vibrations that will cause our dreams to come racing toward us. Or so I thought…
Then came one of the nuances that I hadn’t caught in my studies of the law of attraction. When we *believe* we will receive what we want and we can feel it as done, like it’s in the past already…THEN our dreams come racing toward us.
I’ve confused the intensity of my desire with my belief in being able to own my dream.
We can have a great intensity of desire for our dreams, describing them in great detail in our minds eye, stare at dream boards, recite affirmations on mirrors, etc.…and spend time thinking about them, but if we don’t *believe* we can have them, then we will hit a block. And we will be left wanting.
What I found is I couldn’t generate the feelings as genuinely as I had just a day or two before.
My belief level tanked. I had a few negative interactions with others, my train of thoughts led in a negative direction and I started believing I was foolish to believe I could create such abundance, harmony, love and peace in my life. I’ve never done anything like it. How the hell could I achieve it?
Kevin repeated over and over, and I listened over and over until I regained my belief.
“You don’t need to know how...”
“It doesn’t matter what people say…”
“It doesn’t matter what the facts say…”
“…it will work out.”
This is not coming from someone blowing smoke up you-know-where. This is someone who has achieved success on every level. He was leading the seminar, but in attendance were millionaires, billionaires, high-level government officials, leaders of countries, members of royal families, politicians and captains of industry. Many times, Kevin repeated that these people are not just wealthy in finance. They are truly happy people. They were there to attest to what Kevin was teaching.
This is really, really important…
YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW HOW YOU WILL GET WHAT YOU WANT.
BELIEVE THAT YOU WILL ATTAIN IT SIMPLY BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT YOU’VE DECIDED – AND FEEL IT AS DONE.
The key is start with the dreams that fall in the “sweet spot.” The sweet spot is where we have an intense desire to make it happen. We are willing to do everything we can. AND we have a high level of belief that we can achieve it. That means that we may have to start local. Baby steps. The point being that we are generating belief in ourselves that we can master this game called manifestation/creation.
He warns that anytime we are thinking about what we want, and we start to feel bad – stop. Do something else that will help us feel good again. We don’t have the belief it takes to get that one yet. Once again, our feelings are our guides. Paying attention to how we feel is the navigation tool to manifestation.
What if the intensity of my desire to create what I want is from a dire situation? I must succeed. It can’t wait until my belief level reaches some unknown level…
Here’s another fun nuance about the law of attraction! He says that we can decide what we want with great detail. Interestingly, it is BETTER to choose things in general. Instead of I want a house or a car with these specific details….I want a house/car that makes me feel **amazing**, **safe**, **inspired**…
FOCUS on the FEELINGS of having what you want.
When we do this, the Universe responds with our creations that are truly amazing!! It’s like the Universe knows us so well!! (Hint: The Universe/God knows you inside/out) Kevin bluntly says, “you don’t know what you want!” I laugh every time I think of it!
So, the best dream for us to have is the feelings we want to have in our lives. I feel good. I feel wonderful! I feel exhilarated!! I feel loved, safe, secure, in harmony, peaceful, abundant!
How do you want to feel everyday of your life?
I’m starting with “I feel good.” And on good days, “I feel wonderful.” Stepping it up and fiercely sticking to our goals is what gets us there faster and in technicolor. Most importantly, we don’t want to try to pass up our belief levels. We’ll just fall off the bike again.
I haven’t abandoned my goals. I’m breaking it down to the simplest outcome. How will I feel when I’ve achieved my dreams? Then that will be my focus. The truth is that many things can help me feel good or wonderful. And as long as I am feeling wonderful, I am magnetizing myself toward my dreams.
Are you ready for another nuance? I resonated with this one. For some reason I never felt comfortable putting a timetable to my goals. It felt so random and unachievable. No wonder I struggled with attaining my goals! It’s important when working with the law of attraction to leave the timing up to the Universe.
DO NOT set time frames. The truth is we don’t know what it will take to make our dreams a reality. Mountains must move on our behalf, and we’re going to give God a deadline? I don’t think so! Once again, we don’t know the perfect timing of our dreams, but the Universe absolutely works in divine timing. Let go of the stress of timing, and let God do the work.
Doesn’t that take a load off?
In fact, the standard method of setting goals is hogwash, according to Kevin and his colleagues. Are you familiar with SMART goals?
We can forget about those rules! Keep it simple. Feel good even when things don’t look good. There will be times when things are going wrong. We can’t understand why it is, but when we keep the attitude that it is happening FOR our good, then it will work out fine. And in some cases, it will be what needed to happen to keep us safe, or to put us in the perfect position to receive what we want.
Our reaction to any experience (especially the negative ones) makes all the difference in turning the negative into a huge triumph. We’ve all heard the amazing stories of people overcoming huge obstacles. It wasn’t because they complained and had to be dragged to the top of their personal mountain. Nope.
The Universe conspires for my good. (Repeat)
A quick re-cap:
Did you learn something new? Let us know in the comments below! We love hearing from you!
Attitude. We all have one or two. We choose our attitudes generally from those that we are closely surrounded by, namely our family when we are young to start. We may choose friends who have the same attitudes, or if we are impressionable, we may take on our friend’s attitudes.
Attitudes can be easily chosen just like the clothes we choose to wear each day.
My husband took a sales job early in our relationship, and in their training they taught that “attitude is everything.” He received a pin that said, “attitude.” My personality does not fit the typical salesperson personality, so I didn’t really understand how this piece of wisdom could be applied in my life as well. But I liked the pin. It was a positive statement.
I really started paying more attention to my attitude as I really started pulling myself out of a victim mindset. I realized that my attitude drove the mindset I was choosing. Changing our attitude to a more focused and positive one and thus choosing a new mindset, is the most difficult inner work we can do. It’s like a baby learning to walk. She stands up, gets her balance, let’s go of the table or sofa and takes a step, and then falls down. Is she doomed to never walk? Of course not. But she is going to work at it everyday until she gets it. And we are not doomed to keep creating situations that we don’t like. There is no magic to learning to do something new. We just need to work at it daily.
I used to try to police my thoughts to stop the negative ones (because they were plenty) and repeat positive thoughts to myself (affirmations). This is very tiring, if you’ve tried it. Dr. Joe Dispenza says that a person can have 50,000-70,000 thoughts per day. That would be a job in and of itself, and it may pay well in the end, but that’s a hard way of doing things. It can be a whole lot easier! Thoughts are a dime a dozen. There is something else that has more value.
I believe we can agree that thoughts drive feelings, and feelings drive behavior and our behaviors turn into actions. If that’s the case, then we can check in with how we are feeling. How is my body feeling? Am I holding tension anywhere? Is my face crunched up? Am I smiling? Am I buzzing with energy? Or perhaps I feel like I might be flat-lining! These are our best indicators on where our thoughts have been playing. And we can make the appropriate adjustments in our thoughts. Our feelings are our friends. We can take a deep breath in a moment and remind ourselves of our favorite affirmation. Mine is “the Universe supports me. All my needs are met.”
As a side note, if you’re anything like me, you could be surfing a few Big Kahunas from time to time. Do you have big feelings? I used to not know what to do with myself under these conditions. I used to think I had to do something, or make a big decision based on how I was feeling. Boy, that is the absolute worst time to try to decide important matters. Under all that overwhelm? How can we see over any of those waves? We can’t. There is no way we can see clearly, and what a disaster to plan or act from a place of overwhelm or emotional chaos! Imagine what kind of chaos we can create coming from the energy of intense sadness, heartbreak or anger? We’ve all done it. And we already know this is a doomed plan of action.
We know when we’re making a good choice for ourselves when we feel peaceful about it. We thought it all the way through (and even talked aloud to friendly ears), and gave ourselves some time to get calm, meditate/pray on it, and the solution appeared. Has that happened to you?
You’ve probably experienced that with big emotions, or any emotion act like waves. We ascend to a peak that we think will never end, and eventually it starts to subside and passes through us – if we let it. We can conjure the feelings again and again with the same thoughts, remembering what pissed us off, or hurt us so bad. We can go around and around. Or we can get off the merry-go-round, learn from it – mostly about ourselves – and make a new choice. We chart a new course. I know I want to feel those emotions less, so I am going to give it zero of my energy. We are choosing then to re-focus on what we are choosing to bring into our life. How does that feel? Ah-may-zing!!
Why don’t we spend all day doing just that?
Back to feelings are our friends. Being in touch with our feelings have many benefits. We are in touch with how we feel, and we can nurture compassion for ourselves as we give ourselves time to process our feelings. We also gain a large bandwidth of patience, forgiveness and understanding for others in our life. We can understand how they feel and can be a wonderful support to those around us. Our relationships can improve!
We are also primed by staying in our heart center to easily check-in with our feelings, adjust and tweak them throughout the day to hone the direction of our ship toward the life changes we are currently creating. We are the captains of our ship! Our heart center is the place where we can access the “tuning fork”, adjusting our energy frequencies to emit exactly what we are choosing to create.
What are you emitting into the Universe right now?
You would know! And all these things - our thoughts, feelings, behaviors – are attitudes that result in our mindset.
What is your mind set to?
I have found that the attitude of gratitude results in the happiest people. They are warm, inclusive and fun to be around, right? You say, “It’s raining.” They say, “Isn’t it wonderful? Look at all the flowers and everything is green!” You’ve probably heard that the best prayer is gratitude. The pieces really started falling into place for me when I started reaching for my journal when I was upset, but instead of writing out my frustrations and complain for 2-3 pages, I thought about and wrote down what I was grateful for in that moment. This is a wonderful way for us to change our attitude in just a few minutes. We can probably achieve the same results just reciting all the things we are grateful for in our heads – in a tight spot. However, there is power in using pen and paper. A regimen of writing in our gratitude journal is a healthy habit.
The attitude of gratitude is also where I place my affirmations. I’ll say,
When I place in my mind on these thoughts, my body relaxes. I leave worry behind. I’m not angry, resentful or sad. As a matter of fact, I’m high on life! I feel wonderful and I want to share it.
Ultimately, moving out of the victim mindset has been a function of staying in an attitude of gratitude. When I am in this new positive, empowered, excited mindset, I am expectant of many amazing things to come my way. I can easily take responsibility for myself because I have more control over myself. I am no longer a victim to my feelings, thoughts or attitudes. I know who I am. Quite honestly, it’s a daily job. We don’t just do it once, and it sticks. We do it over and over until it becomes a habit and living any other way would feel awkward.
You may say, Jennie, you don’t have the same circumstances that I have, it just isn’t that easy for me. And you would be correct. We don’t have the same circumstances, and it is as hard as you choose to make it. Everyone on earth today has one or two challenges in their life. We are equipped to master ourselves and rise above them.
The work is to look away from what is hurting or infuriating. Just look away.
We need to separate ourselves from that person or situation as quickly as we can and focus all our energy on what we want to be experiencing right now. We may need to give ourselves space to get back to a calm state, and this is a healthy course. Sometimes, we do need to act on our circumstances, and looking away is inappropriate.
Most situations that create an emotional reaction out of us are the ones that we can choose to not react and move away from. We are co-creators, manifesting our dreams and desires with all the energy we have. Our energy is too valuable to spend on useless arguments. No one wins.
If you feel you are still not experiencing all that you want in your life, remember this, when one is on a healthy diet, and chooses to eat the most healthy breakfast they can They will not go and choose junk food the rest of the day, right?
We are bringing this new mindset, this new attitude into our whole day. Because…
The Attitude of Gratitude is Everything!
I shared a few months back that I would be sharing my journey. I'll admit to you that the prospect of sharing my journey was scary to me. What if I didn't grow and had nothing of value to share? I put myself on the spot. However, I also knew that I wanted more for my life and that I could make an impact on the world somehow, but I didn’t know how.
As it turns out, it was not my business to know how it would unfold. I’ve learned that my main vasana or karma has been overcoming a victim mindset. I also learned that it is as simple as making a choice as to how I want my life to turn out. Happiness is a choice, a mindset, not a result of my circumstances.
My primary job to create happiness has been to stay focused on being grateful for what is in my life now and being grateful for what I’m creating. For more on Focused Intention, check out my post.
The Universe is responding!
If you are experiencing the same, let us know in the comments. It’s important to recognize what we are doing right and let others shower us with recognition too. I honestly believe that one person can be powerful, but together, we are unstoppable in creating the world we deserve and delight in.
I wanted to share my latest win with you because it is also a funny story. We moved from Macomb, Michigan back to California five years ago. The main reason was because my husband’s job shifted into free-lance work, and the first polar vortex hit the Midwest. I was up for the adventure of living in the Midwest, but we were convinced quickly that Southern California sounded so much better where we both had family! Enough said. My kids grew up in the snow, so we wanted to at least take them to visit the snow. So, every year for the past five years, we have taken our family to Big Bear during our winter school break so the kids can play in the snow.
The first few years we went to sledding parks and had an absolute blast. We started inviting other families to join us, and one year they wanted to ski. My husband and I have been together for 25 years, and we’ve NEVER gone skiing together. It just never crossed our minds. We love being outdoors. We’ve camped and traveled to multiple countries, but just never chose to ski. The first year, we put our kids in a ski lesson and went to have a coffee and sit somewhere warm. Our friends challenged us to ski with them next year. That was last week.
I’ll admit I was a bit nervous because we had decided to skip lessons, and just do it. The four of us managed well on the bunny slopes. A few spills here and there, but I was astonished that I was still standing! After an hour, I even had the courage to move onto longer runs.
I surprised myself that I had the courage to move on.
My family came with me and didn’t fare as well on the longer runs. I ended up chasing a snowmobile, carrying my youngest son down the slope that I was skiing on for the first time! That was a rush! I ended up skiing all the next day down the same level of runs beyond the bunny hill. I was only challenged by the new snow that made it a bit harder to turn in. In my mind, I was a rock star!
My point in sharing this experience with you is that I went into this experience with an open mind, no expectations, and a crazy excited and grateful attitude about my life. What happened?
My super powers emerged.
I was able to do something that I didn’t believe was possible. Not only did I have a blast, but my whole family had a great time, and we all can’t wait to go back and hit the slopes again, albeit the easy slopes.
The possibilities are unlimited. There are no boundaries.
Please share with us what you are creating, and what obstacles you may be having in creating the life of your dreams. Comment below!
We want to ask ourselves a question from time to time just to check in. What are we focusing on?
To answer that question let’s look at the manifestation process, or Law of Attraction. If it is true that we create our reality, and it is a function of the collaboration of our thoughts, which creates a feeling and subsequently we are motivated to act and behave in certain ways. And it is also true that we are energy and all energy has a vibration. Then we are vibrating at a specific frequency that then gets broadcasted into the space around us. That energy or frequency tunes into other people or things or even situations that are at that same frequency, and thus we have an attractive force based on our thoughts, feelings and actions…or focus.
Our focus is entirely under our command. We choose what to focus upon. Sometimes that can still be like holding an open firehose, right?
It has a mind of its own.
I can’t get a saddle on my mind chatter.
This is more common than not for many of us. We are distracted by so much input and possibilities in our modern world. There is chaotic energy pulling our focus in many directions. We have even found reasons to blame other people or objects for what we are creating with the vibration we are pulsing out by the focus we are holding. When we take full responsibility for our vibration and resulting experiences, we grab our focus back onto the experiences we want to create vs. random creation/focus. We give ourselves back our personal power.
Look at how powerful TV has become.
We sit down, relax and gaze our focus upon the programming on TV. This is passive focus.
We allow our focus to be dragged in and out of our selected program to focus upon advertising for businesses with a lot of money to spend. They have control of our focus. And depending upon what program we chose, that program also has our focus and is making suggestions about us and the world around us.
When our focus is so relaxed as it is when we watch TV or movies, these suggestions are quite powerful because our brains are at the ready to be programmed in that relaxed mode. This is the place we want to get to during meditation. This is where we practice being the observer. Practicing no thought. This is a powerful focusing tool. Imagine the seeds you can plant when in this relaxed state. You have the power to change your life in what ways you see fit.
If we allow our focus to pin ball from one thing to the next, like TV programming and advertising, our energy is chaotic and the overall net vibration we are pulsing out creates more chaos. Do we want to start utilizing that power of our focus to our benefit?
What do we want to focus on? What do you want to focus on?
If what we focus on expands, then this is where we decide what we want for our lives. We are here to create things in our lives that are enjoyable or even thrilling! Not more chaos, right? Let’s set our intention on harmony, and we may want prosperity for ourselves and our loved ones too. Take the time to sit down and figure out what you want to create in writing – writing it out gives your creations more power. And we’re all about personal power.
Our practice of intentional focus can include the following steps:
Have you figured out what you have been focused on?
Is that your intention?
Perfect! Every NOW moment you have a chance to keep choosing something to focus on that is working for you. You can also make mistakes, as we all do, and choose another focused intention, preferably learning from those mistakes as we go along. There are no punishments for making mistakes. When we give ourselves permission to ask for forgiveness from ourselves or others, we give ourselves compassion. This opens our hearts to be more compassionate to others. What if everyone on earth decided to do that?
That would be some miraculous awesome-sauce!!
Please comment below! I love your feedback. Did I leave something out? Let’s start a conversation.
I am giving you my latest update on my journey and recent growth in writing today vs video. I promised to you and myself that I would document the growth I am experiencing so that you could follow along and potentially benefit from what I’m learning about myself.
I recently deleted my last video posted back on December 12th of last year because I saw the stats on FaceBook, and it was pretty much zero. Instead of feeling bad about that, I stepped into the energy of why that was, and immediately got an answer that I was coming from a place of smallness. I was coming from a victim mentality in my personal life, and it came across to others. You didn’t resonate with that, and I thank you for this gift of feedback. I didn’t want to leave the video up because of the energy it carried. I didn’t want to give that kind of energy to the world with intention. That is exactly the energy I came here to transmute!
We all have the opportunity to take what we’re doing that IS NOT working and transmute it into what CAN work for us. I am very excited to share with you what I’ve been focusing on lately, and the changes I am feeling on the inside. It is the work we do on the INSIDE that finally changes and affects our external world.
First, I want to share what I was trying to communicate in my low vibration video. In that moment I was re-discovering on a more profound level my vasanna or karma that was coming up for me to heal. It was this victim mentality that I’ve experienced most of my life, if not all my conscious life. Not everyone carries this karma to heal, so just insert your karma or personal issue that is coming up for you to heal currently. I was telling myself that I was not safe, and it communicated in video.
Since then, I’ve continued to pay attention to my intuition. I paid attention to all my experiences, the good, the bad and the ugly. They all opened my perception in ways that I had not considered. I was in the process of making big decisions in my life that would alter not only my life, but those around me. I had been led to focus on practical things, like strengthening my boundaries with others. I also paid attention to when I was making choices out of obligation or from a place of what was right for me. It felt like a conversation. I would listen, and then “speak” or make a choice. Then I would experience or “hear” the feedback. You may say this is how we “dance with life.”
I continued to consume information that I felt moved to read or listen. Again, this led me to some amazing discoveries. I will be sharing some of the newest resources with you on my NEW website.
The most amazing shift in all of this was my realization that I was still coming from a place of a victim in my life. I was seeing the choices I was making that were comfortable and familiar that kept me in that mindset. I still dance with this energy, however with my present awareness, I can call myself back and make a new choice. Mostly what I speak of is where am I placing my FOCUS? What conversations am I allowing to run through my mind? All of this is taking my bandwidth and it is creating my net energy vibration.
This awareness has returned to me my power. I am no longer a victim unless I continue to choose it (out of habit). I am WAY more powerful, and I can create AMAZING things!! Can you see how this NEW energy is completely different than the victim mentality? I can influence change in my life, and I can make it happen in whatever timeline I choose. This is POW in powerful!
My most recent interlude with an alternate reality was this past weekend. Besides having a victim mode, I also have wrestled with abundance, or the lack thereof. Anyone got money issues? My latest teacher blew my mind with suggestions of…well, magic. Besides creating money where and when you need it, you are essentially given the permission to create with joyful expectation anything that you could want or need. I felt this possibility on the inside, but I was held back by old judgments that I’m so naïve, irresponsible or not realistic. My new teacher gave me permission to use my imagination and expect magic! I can do that! Can you?
A little disclaimer here: nothing that which I speak of today is new to me, or possibly to you either. I’ve read, taken classes, seminars, watched movies, documentaries…you name it. I believe we are all learning at a different pace and we are learning on different levels within ourselves. When we receive information and resonate with it, that does not mean we will have a huge breakthrough in the external world. It just means we are on the right track for our own evolvement. I say all this to say that when we withhold judgement of ourselves and how we should be growing or what we should be experiencing, we give ourselves permission to be on our most authentic path, and the right one for us.
So, what were the tools I used to pull myself out of the hole?
I am still floating on the excitement of what I can create. Instead of saying, “I’m so happy and grateful,” I can’t help myself from saying, “I’m so excited and grateful…”
I’d love to hear from you! What are you creating? If you have questions about anything I mentioned here, please don’t hesitate to ask. Let’s start a conversation!